We’ve all heard the old adage: “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” It’s a nice thought, right? Following your passion means work is essentially play and if you’re lucky enough to find that thing, then you’re set for life.
So, we teach ourselves to quest after some overarching passion that will fulfill us in such a way that we never feel like it’s taking something from us. And that sounds awesome.
It’s just that it’s a really unhealthy ideal and doesn’t represent reality or the desire to do work that your passion should bring out in you.
I’d go so far as to call it an empty attempt at comfort that disregards how much our passions actually require of us. It’s true that doing what you love is incredibly rewarding and can help to ameliorate long hours or hard days and that our psychology is built to be extra kind to the pieces of our identity we view as positive, but that isn’t exactly the commentary this phrase is suggesting.
It’s the kind of thing we tell students who are trying to map out the rest of their lives in choosing a major or a career once school is done. We tell it to parents to minimize how hard their job is. We tell it to ourselves to assure ourselves that our feelings of burnout or regular exhaustion aren’t valid.
Chasing your passion and dreams is hard and it’s work. I’d lay a bet that the average Olympian loves their sport of choice. They devote a lot of time, effort, and energy to making it a huge part of their life. They’re among the best at that activity in the world. I’d also lay a bet that not a single one of them would refer to it as “not working.”
We work for the things we love. They motivate us to do more, stretch ourselves, and become better because they make us feel fulfilled as we grow in them. We sacrifice for them and they become more tender, important, and central to who and what we are.
You probably know a teacher who loves what they do and is excellent at it. The time commitment, the emotional toll, the financial burden, and the mental exhaustion that come with the job are all work.
Teaching our children that passions are so rewarding that chasing them isn’t really work is dangerous. It leads to unmet expectations and identity crises—after all, if I’m chasing what I love and feeling super burnt out at the end of a big project or long day, maybe I’m not cut out for it. Maybe I’m not good enough and I should be finding a passion that better fits me.
If my passion is really my passion, it shouldn’t feel like work, right? So, if it doesn’t come naturally and I have to work for it or put extra hours and effort in to grow at it, it must not be right for me.
If I have to work and grow and change to become a better parent, partner, or friend, maybe that’s not something I’m cut out for either.
What I’m driving at here is that instead of teaching ourselves that not working is a worthy goal, we should be emphasizing that working for something that we love and that is worthwhile is the worthiest of goals. Chase your dreams. Work for them. Become more so you can do more with them. Do what you love and work most days because of it.
Working at something worthwhile is noble and good. It should be a part of our goals. We don’t want to find “the easy life,” we want to chase the fulfilling one. We shouldn’t be prioritizing the life that has no bumps, turns, or resistance, but the one that helps us become better, more capable people.
The phrase “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” is innocuous and not meant to be some malicious, awful thing. But I encourage you to drive it from your psyche because it doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t emphasize the things that will bring you real success. Maybe replace it with something like “Work every day at something you love because it’s worthwhile.” It’s less punchy, maybe, but I think it has dividends to pay that its counterpart will never achieve.